i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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