So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He did a backflip because drugs
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