Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
