I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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