im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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