Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
