There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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