What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
