NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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