In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
