Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
