it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
