member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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