and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
