Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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