she sounds like chewbacca in bed
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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