Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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