I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
