i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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