Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
