I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
