let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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