Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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