I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I need a burrito and a hug.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
