I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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