Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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