This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
