I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
