I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
