**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
