the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
