either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize