After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize