Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
