it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize