Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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