I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
