I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You've changed since you got that strap on
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
