Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
