i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
