Pants 0. Shit 1.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
MIDGETS
????
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
