I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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