he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We left an ass print on the piano.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Two words: nipple clamps
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