what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize