Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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