No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
