It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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