The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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