Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
