we're blogging at a bar
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize