I looked at my own cervix.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
