we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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