quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
