do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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