I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize