i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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