4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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