I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think your dad took our porno
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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