Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
please don't ironically join a cult
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