Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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