i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
