I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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